Our gorgeous girl struggled with high school attendance for 6 years. She was diagnosed with, therapised and medicated for anxiety, depression and panic disorder. An athletic, sociable, dancing, bright square peg squashed and squeezed into the round hole of our education system only to pop out continuously. None of it made sense. But she didn’t want to home educate, distance ed or change schools. She didn’t want to leave her friends. So she persisted. We persisted. She was chewed up and spat out the other end of an unforgiving rigid system. All of us had trauma from the constant and relentless stress of it all.
Over the years there were psychiatrists, psychologists, medications, therapies, an amazingly supportive school counsellor, a disastrously damaging school counsellor, learning support teams, great teachers, intolerant teachers, incorrect diagnoses and eventually, in year 10….a correct diagnosis that when it landed, felt right to her and us. ADHD.
With professionals eventually asking the right questions and having an awareness of ADHD in girls, she was finally understood. Excellent masking skills, perfectionism, people pleasing and anxiety to paint just part of the picture. From there she could move forward with the correct approach and an IEP (individual education plan) at school that made sense to her and supported her more.
It was not a magic pill. School was hard for her right up to her final days of year 12 and her attendance was always problematic. But at least she didn’t feel like she had to apologise any more for who she was. She had a better understanding of herself. Her struggles made sense. Some school staff became more understanding and supportive, now that they could pin it all on a diagnosis. Oh, there’s a reason for her non-attendance! As if there wouldn’t have been. There is always a reason.
The thing is the supports didn’t need to be huge and really could and should be offered to any kid facing challenges, with or without a clinical diagnosis. At the end of the day, we want every child and teen to access an education that will set them up for the future, don’t we? Not an education that they need to spend the rest of their life recovering from.
Despite the tears and trauma, we are so grateful for everything we have learnt over the last bunch of years. It was certainly an intense traineeship in parenting, compassion, neurodivergence, relationship, listening and communication. But we are better people for it. And the insight she has into humanity at such a young age is astonishing. She continues to teach us every day and we continue to be in awe of her.
Our beautiful, creative, head strong, smart, sensitive, caring, fun girl living with ADHD.
Anonymous for The Village Northern Beaches
